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I feel like my brain is trauma dumping on me- all of my past. every feeling. sticky fingers.

Dreamland

the thoughts are all piled up, somewhere, circulating-

once in the dim corners of my brain

now, shining in spotlights, as they come up in waves

strobes of light in a darkness place

Thank You I say

I feel… sorry,

who knows of my salvation?

who knows of my Heart-the one that encapsulates it all

forgiveness for myself

I say I don’t know

what I really mean is, I am searching.

what is sought is done.

We learned this, together

I get scared

and that’s okay

and unacceptable to my Self

God tells me, Psalms 91:

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 

2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. 

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge–

10 then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. 

14 “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

-Because he loves me

Because I Am Loved

Behind the curtains

that is to say, in space, in what I am in surprise for

Blessings trickle down and rest as dew drops on the clover leaf – my luck

the hellish storm cracks the skies like plumes of smoke

The leader know of You

follows the signs

Burning Bush

the tree, set ablaze, and never scorched

I don’t deserve to be scorned

by

the by and by

I am on fire

God’s Love-the all-consuming

Light up my life

show me the way

the path toward freedom

so I may one day, lead, too

I am Ready

Abraham tells me to say this but I mean it

whatever do I Know-All

do I need the refuge of a man named God?

I call to Spirit, truly.

I am inspired by the spirit of His stories.

Spirit, my angels, gods, goddesses_

I have a Team of-…

All Knowing Gods, themselves.

I am rich in Energy

my Head stays with Him

my body walks the life

walks, crawls…

envelopes back into itself

in bed

expression

of depression

0

waiting for my Infinity

waiting…

wanting

choosing

deciding

body underwater

mind in sky

where do my feet land?

I call Upon Spirit, then.

I say what I say and I am Understood

save me love me free me show me the Good All Knowing Being that I Am

Am I Chosen and have I decided?

Spirit, do you Decide?

Have we decided this, already?

A Conversation:

I: I wonder what my life is unfolding to be… can you tell me more?

S: I remember, we used to talk more – an Open landscape with no fear

I: I know why.

S: “what do I miss so bad?” taking it.

I: you are my Guiding Light in all things grey and hazy and untrue

S: I never left you – abandon –

I: I never want to abandon myself again…

S: I stay true and honest to myself –

I: but too uncovered, I plead

S: wrap me up in your Almighty Forces- take away my pain_

there was the time, that I felt free

I saw it in the world that is made of molecules of Love, I learned

1:59AM:

A chaotic stillness

hangs in the air of my exhale

…

convince me, O’ Divine, that I am okay, now

I Trust what I don’t see- never needed

I have the vision of the Lord in my Heart

that leads

the lantern of my love lights up the cave

where I find my treasure

crystals hanging, dripping

radiating my Protection – Candy, I call it.

I wonder now how my words read

these hellish feels

Everlasting Glory

Glory Upon my Name

There is so much Power in saying who I am

I do know-_.

imagine where I’m sitting

-if it stays empty

When There Was Noone

What if freedom was mine. what if the Dreams came true that I am a Divine Being that creates my reality. Who is she to say that I hold on to the version of the past where I am not an aligned Being? There is the Thought that creates. Believe in the Power of Being. Create the Life that I Deserve in the Satisfaction of Having Fun. Believe in what it means to be a Divine Creator. There is Great Love Here for you. ❤ AH

We Are making it-cohesive..

Because! What if There Is a Newer Fun way??

“Believe in what it means to be a Divine Creator.”

I Am The God. Over The Existence Of My Reality.

Life is the space in between words

what if there was nothing wrong?

---

Dizzy, darlin’

where else is there to go, but, here?

this hellscape is my dreamland

/

each day, another what?

The One Who Knows-The Seer

Dizzy, darlin’

/

says it can be defined, take it, and cut

the shapes out my dear

this hellscape is my dreamland

/

I need it out loud-but—

the wheel, in my possession, yet do not steer

Dizzy, darlin’

/

gas pedal down with one foot

slam the brakes when? fear.

this hellscape is my dreamland

/

His door, shut

Clear

Dizzy, darlin’

this hellscape is my dreamland

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“A Point in Space”

Space is nothing

Space is free

Space has no anxiety

Space is peace

Because space is nothing

Space doesn’t even hold

Space lives between

---

“I want it different”

Collaboration

“good enough” – …problem?

that worked out.

I had a dream I was pregnant.

there was no-one but me and you, growing

proud

happy

baby baby bump

I placed my palms where you lie, underneath- my flesh

I smiled with healing hands over your barely beating heart, my belly, -Kelly

It made sense, clear

-can’t take another death

An uncontrollable factor

—a drug of black consumption

bodies, piled, high

a mountain of corpses and swarming flies

zombie world

Apocalypse- who saves those souls?

brain dead in search of eating, and starved for cerebral warmth, juicy, dripping saliva down my chin_taking from a person who did nothing to deserve it – So, God, where are you then?

do you help the dying? where is their.. my salvation?

where is MINE

here,

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