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I need something

I crave it from my spine.

stone sunken bones

I feel it in my teeth

i’m just an Accumulation of all that came before me

All That Came Before

death blood and magic

my Christ Consciousness Awoken then

I’m you

you are I

UIIU

I am the fish who feeds

and the sea who separates for freedom

and all the magic in between

the sand under wooden sandals

that carries my flesh

under the Cross, I remember you

I held your hand under the sacrifices

took your hand when it was time to slay-the lamb to the slaughter

your baby lamb

in God I Trust

the alter holds you, me back

I am the one who sits

under the Bodhi tree

I starve myself for freedom

I am the follower

under your silence, words, and space in between- I take it in

I am grateful to be under your tutelage

The bodhisattva

the arhat

serenity

Enlightenment is my Name

I Am It

We Are

Psychoanalysis

Psyche and Cupid

Grace for the subversions of our racing Thought

in circles it revs and hums, a shaken seat

the vibrations so loud

bouncing my ears to my brain

neurotransmitters

web, the spider who floats on clear strings in the wind

I’ve got an equation

-says everyone

I am the vessel

I am the vessel for light

it reflects out of me like stained glass

the colors on the floor

that you step on

through, the glass light

turn around in it, make it rain on you

alone

the field gives you space

and I am a kid again

she chose me the same

in existence in realms

I feel it through my Eyes of Source

I see it in my puppy stuffie

Symbols

cut in half

like the Eye of Horus

I scratch and rip out my human eyes

they see in illusions so devilish

I met him once

and he took all the shame away

I don’t know God

I do know Jesus

he suffers with me

he’s alongside me

he feels the pain I feel

-the stone sunken bones

that I feel in my teeth

when I gnaw at my self

a self

I don’t even know

a self who-that-isn’t even me

who am I then?

I know who I Am

I know it because it is Now

of infinite Nows

Infinite Infiniteness

a chosen particle

that I grasp with my breath

shoot it down like a hunter playing a game of catch

fetch the fallen bird on the sickly fallen snow

red lit up in the echoes of its body, I feel

grab the goose by the neck

do as the indigenous do

and preserve.

expand

the Himalayas

in your mind, and you will know peace

for it stands in stillness

like the yogi who burns away the karma in an asana that saves

did Jesus save?

or does Jesus just know

now, God does.

God made Jesus to know us

not to murder each other

He had to know our suffering

pawns, otherwise

I do not know who the guy is

but I’m trying

for you

compassion

across cultures

yet it us who fight-resistance

contracts into 0

and pops Open one day

into magic

the lightness I feel in my chest

I breathe out and see it in this landscape

soft, still, smiles through crystal shimmers sunshine

Jesus save me, I pray.

so he tells me of the tale

when thorns covered his crown

and nails embedded into wood

through palms of healing

the witch burned at the stake

for just being a woman

the blood that dripped down his skull

each drop a gift for the wicked

for He does forgive us

Seen

through the Eyes of Love

Lucifer is a heavenscape

I stand circle of fire

I breathe in hell.

hellish lives up in flames

death of the wicked

I breathe hell, sometimes, too.

a Cleanse I desire-I shout to the skies

I wait for a shining white light from parted clouds to open itself up onto my back and lift me up

save me, Grace

I am worthy of your Love

I am Protected by Your Purity

a formless state

Christ, I beseech you

how can you save me if you didn’t save yourself? from the torture of man.

why I ask, why?

when what

Or

my God is in what I know

who-

God is the unseen

God is in what’s watching,

Observing,

Infinite Intelligence

I am told I am, too

Every Answer in Existence

as if there is a problem to solve

I just want better for myself, I say to myself

what’s better?

Trusting in my Spirit, Team.

that I Am, I am, okay.

is my body haunted by my past?

does it still carry you?

why, I want to let it all go!

Be the empty vessel, I Am.

So, there

I Allow the Freedom of Energy to course through my system

rewire my psyche, as I move along

picking and choosing.

I can do it, I say to myself, again.

I am doing it-

For:

It’s Doing and Done.

the differences I’m willing to give myself up for

a sacrifice, I do not.

I may love the daughter below the doves she sets free with her now empty carcass

I try to love the man who killed her, too.

In the Name of God, he says.

I don’t know a God who asks this of me

but I’m also Tokyo Drifting…

Drifting in the winds on the horizon

gravity ties my noose

and pulls me in like the tide

the ocean is dying, I repeat.

“I need to save you.”

and I’m falling now_-

I am Lucifer, too

I burn

your reflection back at you-

it stings us both.

All For The Love Of God

Jesus visited me once, hipster, glasses, with pink flowers in his hands for me, waiting at the door of my apartment, smiling, joyful warmth I felt in his eyes

and that is what it means to love man.

existentialism-

used to consume my midnight moons I see the stars outside my window, between the palms

your death tidal waved me that night.

black cold and clear

and I thought about what it means to die.

Chosen?

Or

Decided.

Death and Rebirth

is what I learned

I let it stay,

must I die to be reborn?

The Tower

it’s in the cards

I repeat,

A choice or a decision

I want more out of a choice and a decision is done

I know what is lost might be forgotten but it is not gone, entirely

just, tell me, you know, too?