---

whttdayaknow another villanelle

something like it anyway. as many times as I’ve written one I think this is the rhyme scheme lol.

A1 – Stunning, isn’t it?

b – I like the twist

A2 – leaves shake when the cloud rumbles

/

a – grey it is

b – it’s like when I take that shaky breath in and clench my fist

A1 – Stunning, isn’t it?

/

a – I know I know I know.. Thank you Miss.

b – the bubble erupting in a container that consists-…(?)

A2 – leaves shake when the cloud rumbles

/

a – pop a monocle on that eye, grab your tea, and say the season is rather splendid- it, tis’.

b – like Butterfly World in that cave that gave off that mist

A1 – Stunning, isn’t it?

/

a – my grandma is British. so I can tell you to go take a piss.

b – peace out I’m Blissed

A2 – leaves shake when the cloud rumbles

/

a – the sound of a glass bottle of orange soda fizz

b – I think so much that I just have to have my list

A1 – Stunning, isn’t it?

A2 – leaves shake when the cloud rumbles

speak easy

flow freely

---

My emotions are big right now. I want to pour myself out. I want all my insides to be seen. I want to watch the darkness with my heart. I want to know every disgusting little detail and analyze it until I throw up. But I can’t. Societal structures? Fear? Maybe I’m afraid to see it. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. In reality, it’s Judgement. Ever since I had that coaching call, all I’ve seen- not really- but it’s in my awareness how much I judge myself. It was like- blah blah blah. I didn’t think I judged myself all that much. I’m allowed to have feelings. Source, Me, My Higher Self all Love me Unconditionally no matter what I’ve been through, no matter who I am, no matter what my behavior is. I guess, having typed that out, I can embody it now. Oh I accidentally typed “fit” and boy did I throw one- out of character for me. I feel bad about that but I don’t feel bad about that? I want to say hilarious, but I’m not laughing. I feel hurt. I want to stay Up because I don’t really want to know down all that much. It gets less interesting. well… Darkness is… just not where I actually wish or desire to see. I think I would rather be vaguely interested up here than know what is going on down there.

silly streams of tears

my rustled yellow brunette hair

I’m a lion I say

I’m a lion inside

I am

I am that guy

woah

no

lets-

silly streams of tears

my rustled yellow brunette hair

I lay cuddled into my pillow

and hug my bears close to my face

they lie

they say I’m okay

they lie

because I want to dye my hair grey

color trouble

double that

it’s emotionless to be blamed

I’m mad and I’m mad

and who am I to tell ???

the white bunny?

the one with the hat

that serves tea to girls as small as me

put on my fru fru blue dress

get me an apron and I’ll be sure to impress

the mad hatter and all of his friends

because I don’t think

I don’t think

ahead

and that’s why

when I say sure,

what I really mean,

is

no.

---

clitter clatter

I watch the paint splatter

all over the white sheet

it’s red

straight from a silver bucket

it’s a full pour

not a splatter from a paint brush

it’s the whole bucket

and it glups and pounds at the white

most of it splots on the ground

the dark grey concrete

the rest the sheet catches

and I take a step back

and call that

Art

xx

~kstar